I REMEMBERED

SAMMY E-EDUCATIOM.COM
I Remembered
I remember that I got polio in September of 1952 when I was 7 years old and in second grade. My brother, sister, and I were pretending that we were camping just like The Little Rascals did in the movie we'd seen the night before. Even though it was a warm day, I felt cold and tired; and I wrapped up in a blanket out on the lawn and went to sleep.
I remember that even before I was diagnosed with polio, my mother told the doctor that I had it. I just wanted to sleep on the couch all day; and when I had a hard time swallowing my orange juice, I gave it to my little sister to drink. Then one day when I got up to go to the bathroom, I collapsed on the floor. My legs just didn't want to work anymore. That's when my mother decided that it was time to take me to the hospital.
I remember the big beautiful doll that my mother bought for me at the corner Woolworth's store on our way to the hospital. I thought that she was just about the prettiest doll that I'd ever seen.
I remember my mother crying when we found out after my spinal tap that I did have polio, and I remember being put in a dark room in a bed next to an older woman who also had polio.
I remember clutching my pretty doll tightly and burying my head in her when the nurse stuck an IV in my arm. As I choked back my tears, the nurse praised me for not crying.
I remember my parents standing in the hallway when they came to visit me because they couldn't come into my room. One day when they arrived, I showed them that I could raise my legs again. That made them very happy, and I felt pleased, too.
I remember crying because I had to leave my beautiful doll behind when I left the hospital to go home. The nurse told me that my doll had to be burned along with all of the pictures I had drawn and colored!
I remember my mother wrapping my legs in hot, wet, wool blankets when I got back home. The nurses had taught her how to do this.
I remember that my brother complained because everyone at school always asked him how his sister was, and he got tired of telling them.
I remember that when I went back to school, I fell down a lot during recess because my legs would suddenly give out. I had black eyes and skinned knees because of the falls.
I remember the exercises that I had to do several times a day. My mother helped me, and I was proud whenever I could reach a new level of achievement.
I remember that in fourth grade my participation in a weeklong marble tournament during recess was spoiled because in the middle of it I had started to wear a body brace. It was uncomfortable and stiff, and I didn't know how to move with it yet.
I remember how awkward and embarrassed I felt because I never was able to participate in gym at school.
I remember the summer that I agonized about my scoliosis and made the decision to throw myself into my studies once school started in the fall.
I remember when my body brace broke during my senior year in college, and I had to find a place in town where I could get it fixed. I also remember feeling embarrassed as I explained to my student teaching supervisor why I couldn't come to school that day.
I remember when I had my spinal fusion in 1978 and went home in a halo body cast for 9 months. Later I remember how thrilled I was to throw away my body brace after having worn it for 25 years!
I remember how grateful I was that an iron lung was available to save my life after my daughter was born in 1981.
I remember how overwhelmed I felt when I got in touch with all of the polio survivors on the Internet. I still enjoy corresponding with several of them all around the country.
I remember how thrilling it was to come to my first GBPPA meeting 5 years ago. I am grateful for all of the wonderful people I've met here and for all of the valuable information I've received.
I am certain that someday soon people all around the globe will be able to say, "I remember when there was a crippling disease called polio that killed many and dramatically affected the lives of others."

My Thought Are My Reality

Over the years I've had a lot of negative thoughts about having had polio. "Why me? Poor me! I hate having to struggle so hard to breathe all of the time! I feel ugly and unworthy!" I would allow these negative thoughts to take over my mind, affect my behavior, jeopardize relationships, and hold me hostage.
Eventually many of these thoughts became like programmed tapes in my head; they became the lenses through which I looked at the world. As I got older, I became limited and stuck because of my negative thinking patterns. I became afraid to try new things. I worried about what people would think when they saw how twisted my body was. I became withdrawn. I've heard it said that a person's thoughts become her/his reality. This was definitely the place in which I found myself. My life had become as miserable as my thoughts!
As my life with Netzone Resources was at its all-time low, a friend recommended that I read a book whose author suggested keeping a gratitude journal. I decided to try it ... I didn't have anything to lose. Every day for a year I wrote down at least 5 things for which I was grateful. It was difficult at first because my negativity was so strong. Some days I could only think of items like "I'm grateful that I have a bed to sleep in" or " I'm grateful that I woke up this morning."
However, as the weeks and months progressed, I started to notice a difference in my thoughts and in my attitude. I was starting to accept my PPS. I felt lighter and happier. I was moving beyond my fatigue so that I could focus on other things in life ... like how delightful the sunbeams are when they fall upon the beads of dew on the grass, making them sparkle like diamonds. Today instead of worrying so much about what people are going to think of my twisted body, I marvel about how wondrous my body is to function so beautifully in spite of its limitations. I laugh more today and I enjoy trying something new. Positive thoughts are now bringing me positive experiences.
There are still moments when my life gets bogged down with a case of self-pity or negativity. Today though the minute I start to count my blessings, all of that melts away and I realize the joy of being alive. I've discovered that I can live with PPS and still have a wonderful life if I keep my thoughts positive. Years ago I used to lament the fact that my body isn't perfect. Today I am grateful for the body that I do have.

Being Your Own Best Detective
Detectives investigate the past and anticipate the future in order to solve a mystery. Those of us with post-polio syndrome do much the same in order to discover and use those assistive aids and methods of accomplishing activities which will best serve our needs. This, of course, requires investigation and thought as well as some ingenuity.
I would like to mention a variety of coping strategies to illustrate my point. When driving a car, it is difficult to hold my right leg in an upright position. I solved this problem by wrapping an old belt around the steering column and then around my knee. An electric toothbrush conserves strength in my right arm, and does a better job as well. A portable telephone eliminates the necessity of jumping up (figuratively speaking) to answer a call. For reading, I use a lap desk and a reading stand.
I use a spring cushion for getting out of chairs without arms, and take it to restaurants without booths or armchairs. To conserve strength in my arms while typing, I recently purchased swiveling armrests which clamp to the typewriter table and provide excellent support and flexibility. Our driveway is quite steep and has become difficult to negotiate. The solution was to make the garage accessible from the house by putting a door through the foundation into the cellar and then installing a stairlift for the cellar stairs.
Recently, my back tires easily which causes difficulty walking. I discovered, however, that pushing a shopping cart through the supermarket provides enough support for my back that I can walk all over the store. Now I am investigating walkers for use in malls or other places where shopping carts are not available. What's in the future? Probably, within a couple of years, an electric easy chair which lifts one up onto one's feet.
It has been said many times that we know our bodies better than anyone else. However, we need to translate knowledge into action. We need to think carefully about our future requirements, use our ingenuity and perform our own detective work to determine how we can best conserve our energy and retain our independence.